No matter what miserable mood I’m in–from utterly devastated, fiercely frustrated, positively depressed–this lil’ one has the power to lift my spirits.
Yesterday, she received her newest belt. Given the day I had, my mood suddenly shifted once she flashed her legendary thumbs up and warm smile.
Look Mommy, I got my belt. I’ve worked so hard. I’ve earned it! She screamed.
It was perfect. Funny how that works.
I couldn’t keep my eyes on the wall. Swimmers have a saying Get your hands on the wall. Finishes are crucial since swim races are usually very close, so much that timing is done electronically with highly sensitive touchpads. Along with practicing finishes, swimmers also train on flipturns–swimming hard into the wall and pushing off strong.
Rather than focus on the wall, my eyes consistently drifted to neighboring lanes–where my competitors were increasingly gaining speed–or towards the bottom of the pool–where I felt I might as well have been. Because the harder I pushed, the harder it was to focus. I was losing speed and losing fast.
But I had trained so hard, on my stroke, my starts, my turns, my finishes. What was going on?
In the flurry of self-doubt and disbelief, there was one place I didn’t tap into– my mind. For as much as I had consistently trained my body, I clearly lacked consistency in the mind.
Some 15 years later, the scenario is no different I still battle with my own wall of resistance.
There are many distractions that keep me focused on my goals. There is the occasional day when something or someone makes me feel less inspired, less strong , less energized than I normally would. Then there’s fear–those sinking moments when I feel I don’t deserve or am worthy of success.
Not surprisingly , the key to success is no different either. Training and skill level do contribute to success. But other qualities such as confidence, courage and persistence matter too. In a sport such as swimming, where every hundredth of a second counts, a slight advantage can make a big difference. Like belief.
So as I race to the wall, and when anxiety takes a hold of me, I will take grip and suit up my innermost thoughts, my armory–a powerful, unquenchable belief in myself. And get my hands on that wall.
Much love to Project: Underblog for posting one of my favorite entries, Reclaiming a Marriage After an Unplanned Pregnancy !
Posted in Creative Rantings, Mamahood, Married Life
We are not as divided as our politics suggest. Tonight you voted for action, not politics as usual.
Our President’s promise:
To return to the White House more inspired and more determined about the work we need to do and the future that lies ahead.
Four more years, was the political chant I heard repeatedly from TV coverage to Twitterlandia last night. Here are my five hopes for the next four years:
1. The American people will reject the flawed argument that government and its workers cannot be an agent for good in this country.
2. Social media will increasingly become the go-to-tool for engaging younger audiences and to instilling passion in civic activities.
3. A radical and narrow base will lose steam and the Republican Party will recast and reform itself, offering market-based solutions and a spirit of compromise to solve our nation’s most critical problems.
4. Voters sent a clear and decisive message to Washington to break the fever of political gridlock. Both parties will find common ground and take steps together to help our economy grow and create jobs.
5. The female, minority coalition will no longer be known as the other. They are the authentic face of America. From women now occupying a record number of U.S. Senate seats to thousands of gays and lesbians whose relationships will now be recognized as equal.
We the People govern. And I too believe that hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us so long as we have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting.
Posted in Politics, Social Media
Tagged 2012 elections, civil marriage, culture, political party, Twitter
Maryland voters will be voting on Question 6, to approve or reject the Civil Marriage Protection Act, which would allow same-sex couples to obtain a civil marriage license and protect clergy and religious institutions from having to perform any particular marriage ceremony in violation of their religious beliefs.
Early this year, my husband and I had our marriage blessed by the church. Five years earlier, we were married in city hall. We felt that having a religious ceremony, among family and friends, was important. We wanted to renew our vows in the presence of God.
To us, marriage was more than a physical union, wedding or civil contract. Five years into our union, we already realized how much hard work, dedication, faith it takes to keep a marriage strong. Marriage is a sacred convenant with another person.
Love is not simply a feeling, it is a commitment.
When two people stand before the alter, they promise–in sickness and in health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer–commitment, love forever. Marriage is a union of loyalty, fidelity and permanence to your spouse and your children.
It comes to no surprise then that Americans overwhelmingly recognize the value of marriage in raising children and to advancing society.
Here is another trend. The Census Bureau estimates that the percentage of same-sex couples raising children has more than doubled in just 10 years, from 8 percent in 2000, to 19 percent in 2010. Not surprisingly, in raising children, marriage has become more attractive and natural to same-sex couples.
Sames-sex couples need marriage, and I believe we need gay marriage in our society.
A prevailing problem hurting American families is not that same-sex couples want to get married, it’s that couples are having children outside of marriage or aren’t staying married. In my opinion, gay marriage sends a strong message that marriage is beneficial, therefore available to and expected of every family.
Many opponents of gay marriage cite biblical law: marriage is only between man and woman. Many are, not surprisingly, opposed to the modern marriage–the marriage of equality. My grandparents’ marriage, in which husband worked and the wife stayed home, had separate roles and spheres, is not true today. Two-earner couples are the norm, as well as equal partnerships. And if we want to uphold biblical law for that matter, why aren’t we passing a bill that bans divorce?
Gay marriage destroys marriage no more than giving women the right to vote destroyed democracy. It strengthened it.
So today, I am voting for Question 6.
Marriage is a commitment that must be upheld by couples, their families, friends, colleagues, and community. I hope that one day same-sex marriage will be largely uncontroversial, accepted and good for all.
The Hubby is quite the handyman around the home. He has single-handedly fixed our shower, tiled the basement floor, and replaced our electrical panel. It’s been an immense relief, wallet-wise, to have pro around the house.
Just recently, the Hubby flaunted his skills by attempting to fix our cracked iPod Touch. An amazing, fun and easy-to-use device, the Touch was a gift that proved too fragile to have around a rambunctious toddler. Sadly, the lil’ one has my rough touch and tendency to break things. So it was no surprise that our toy was dropped and cracked.
As he dexterously worked on the iPod, I realized how our Hubby’s handiness has proved more beneficial to our family than just through cost savings alone.
Smart devices like these are adored one moment and swiftly replaced the next—traded in for newer and faster models. The costs for electronics is often low, and it is often easier to buy a new device than repair it. As a result, few repair shops actually exist.
I recently wanted to upgrade my existing phone. Not because I particularly needed a new phone, but simply because I was eligible for an upgrade given the contract with our wireless provider just expired. If it isn’t broken, why get a new one? the Hubby asked.
So you can imagine, with my mindset, if the iPod is cracked, why not just get a new one?
His perspective on need, quality and value clearly differs from mine. Theoretically, if we are pushing our shopping cart down the aisle, I am in the lookout for the perfect product—one that encompasses all my needs at that moment. Rather, the Hubby will meticulously inspect products for worth—whether it will hold up through time, deliver a promise, and are offered at a good price. And when the item breaks, his mindset is to fix it rather than replace it.
The Hubby scoured online for replacement screens and is now at his second attempt at fixing it. Unfortunately, products nowadays aren’t built to be easily repaired.
So what is the point of all this? I believe I’ve learned some valuable lessons. By not buying a brand new product, we’ve saved money. We are also consuming less by extending the life of our existing product. We’ve conserved by using parts from another used product. More importantly, I got a needed mindset adjustment. The recession has shifted priorities for this household, and likely for most consumers, who are now reexamining the meaning of need, quality, and value. So next time we’ll be more likely—and more confident–about repairing something (and taking better care of our devices) rather than trading in it for something perfect.
It may not be perfect, but it’s good enough.
Posted in Creative Rantings, Married Life
At the start of November and Daylight Savings Time, here in the East Coast, temperatures have dropped drastically. The leaves have finally fallen, winter coats have been taken out of storage, and most of us are experiencing our first winter gas bill hike.
The winter months for me arrive too soon, leaving me ponder where the year went. Add extreme changes in weather to my already delicate emotional state, no wonder why some of us are hit with a case of the winter blues!
Moments like this, I contemplate moving to warmer climates—steady mid-70 degree weather sounds pretty good about now. Sand, waves, sunshine…
But ultimately I believe I would miss the seasons—the slight changes in weather that I have become so accustomed to—and the traditions that each carry. Family beach vacations at the shore, hayrides and visits to the pumpkin patch, snowball fights following our first winter storm, and gardening and Easter egg hunts come spring. None of our family rituals would feel as special without a true summer, autumn, winter and spring.
For each season brings gifts. To truly cherish these gifts, one has to change: let go of habit and see the opportunities that lie ahead.
Change can be taking on a new activity, meeting new people, taking a trip. As a young athlete, change for me meant basketball in the fall, swimming in the winter, softball/soccer in the spring, and swimming again in the summer. For the grower, it may be preparing the land for warm-season or cool-season crops.
As I’ve learned from our latest sampling of climate change, Mother Nature follows her own rules. So we must be prepared for her sudden winds in autumn, her slippery ice in winter, her showers in spring, her heat in summer.
So here’s to making the most of each of the seasons. And to trying my hardest not to complain…too much.
When her first daughter was born, she had a sudden desire to raise her in the same manner that she was: immersed in Puerto Rican traditions. She spoke to her in Spanish. Her husband–as someone who grew up in a very Anglo, English-only lifestyle–didn’t understand why she was trying to keep these traditions alive in her life and her children’s upbringing.
We are Americans. We speak English. Why separate yourselves? He asked.
Do you remember the sweet smell of your grandmother’s cooking? She asked. Or of your mother’s perfume? The sound of your father’s records playing in the distance?
I love hearing my friend describe the love and joy she has for her heritage.
As a Peruvian-American married to a man of Italian-Irish descent, I’ve come to appreciate our vastly different backgrounds. Growing up, my family kitchen smelled of rich spices, dinner was where she shared family cuentos (stories). The air was soaked with Latin rhythm, as dancing and singing were a common part of our family gatherings. And yes, as babies, we girls had our ears pierced within weeks of birth!
As Americans, we live in a country filled with so much promise and opportunities. We also live in a globalized world where cultural insight and bilingualism are extremely advantageous and frankly a necessity.
We want to impress upon our daughter the importance of heritage and of pride. As her mother, I teach her the importance of the familia, of her fuerza (strength), and above all, to siga adelante (keep going, move forward, carry on). I share with her mi cultura so she can take with her, as I have, a sense of belonging to something greater than oneself. And to find comfort in knowing she is deeply rooted in something so rich.
This Halloween, our child will don her costume, walk the neighborhood with family and friends, and collect bucket loads of candy.
Unlike thousands of youngsters living in areas of the Northeast, where the destruction from Hurricane Sandy forced the postponement of trick-or-treating, our Halloween festivities were spared.
This year’s costume choice was Pirate..arrr matey! And our Chiquitita will experience not only one but two candy quests. One with her Kindergarten class and later around the neighborhood. While helping her with her costume this morning, I am reminded of the importance of these childhood experiences.
They are fleeting for parents–here one moment, gone the next–but somehow forever imprinted in a child’s mind. I am grateful to be able to look back on my own childhood and reflect on fun-filled memories of Halloween. Like when my mother painted my cheeks with her Elizabeth Arden red lipstick. Or how my younger sister and I would dump out all of our treats on the floor, count our loot to see who got the most, then commence the “trading” process.
By enriching my own child’s memories, I hope I offer her a stronger self across time–memories of moments, events, places, and people important to her and her life. I’m amazed what she can remember already–talks we’ve shared, family vacations some years ago. Her retelling of them are surprisingly detailed and profound. It’s as if she never forgot.
It appears we dodged a bullet this week, with homes and business fairly intact in our neighborhood, and with schools reopening today.
Halloween in the our casa will be one filled with fun, laughs, and sweets. Our thoughts and prayers will be with those dealing with real scary, real world devastation. The beauty of memories is how they connect us to our pasts, our present, our futures, and to one another.
After purchasing a sump pump, cleaning out the generator, filling up the fuel cans, getting the storm windows ready for an oncoming and unprecedented superstorm, we luckily fared very well! To much amazement, given our track record, we didn’t lose power nor experience any flooding! We spent the day together indoors watching movies and the latest updates on Hurricane Sandy. We were shocked by the situation in NYC, of hospitals being evacuated and entire city streets dark and underwater.
The winds became progressively stronger through the late day. After hearing several branches hitting our roof, we decided to “hunker down” downstairs. We squeezed into one bed, where we experienced our only Sandy casualty: our lil’ one fell out of the bed…twice.
Twitter was a great tool in getting the latest advice and warnings with hashtags like #sandy #mdsandy and an array of informative tweets from forecasters to local residents to government agencies and officials. Facebook, for getting instant status updates from family, friends and their loved ones.
We now are looking forward to getting back to work and school, and to, of course, some trick-or-treating! So long Sandy!
I am a full-time working mom, certified Peruana-Americana, social media gal and events professional.
I devote my time to fighting the good fight, craving moments of inner silence and being on time.
I also parade around as a voracious reader, political junkie, and fitness freak.
